William-Henry Gleave
Bad things often come in groups
My wonderful other half Harri so graciously offered me the opportunity to write the first guest Wednesdays post, so here I am!
Much like Harri and Fi, I also suffer with anxiety, I wouldn’t say anywhere near as tough as they have, but it has been really bad at some points in my life. These days I manage it quite well; with anxiety, much like other mental health issues, you never ‘get rid’ of it, you have to learn to live with it, and learn to manage it. That’s probably one of the most valuable lessons I learnt from when I attended counselling. The first time I really realised that I struggled with anxiety was on my first day of college; walking down to the bus stop I felt really sick and lightheaded, and by the time I arrived I just knew something was wrong so I went home sick. This was all confirmed when the college recommended that I head to the counselling services, and that’s where I worked it all out… for now.
(This next paragraph will be a bit of a downer, just warning you)
2 years passed and my anxiety was practically nowhere to be found, I was happy and confident and getting ready to finish college. Then suddenly, my grandad passed away, he was just gone, and I struggled to adjust to this change. I kept going however, got great results at college despite dealing with my grandad being gone, and enjoyed my long summer leading up to me heading off to uni. I then met Harri, and as some of you may know, we were (and still are) head over heels for each other (at least I think so!). Everything was great for a couple of weeks, and BOOM, my nan passed away. Both of them just gone all of a sudden. It was hard, but I had so many new things in my life to enjoy, and then I moved off to uni. The change for me was very difficult, being away from home, away from my family (and my dogs) and now away from my (then) very new girlfriend. My anxiety started creeping up on me, I tried to keep things under wraps, but then the unimaginable happened. My dog passed away, not just any dog, MY dog, my first dog that I got for my 4th birthday. 15 wonderful years, and he was gone. I was absolutely devastated, I was away from home, and despite being surrounded by wonderful new friends, I felt so alone. My anxiety grew worse over the coming months and heading back to uni after Christmas for semester 2 practically finished me off. I then headed to the uni counselling service and talked it all through.
Week by week was better, there were dips, including one particularly difficult week, but that’s just how life goes sometimes, and slowly I got better. Second year of uni was also difficult, adjusting to the change (again) of being back at uni sent me back to the counselling services. However, over time I slowly learnt to accept what had happened before, and the biggest thing for me, I started to learn how to accept change. Change still freaks me out, and it probably always will throughout my life, but at least at this moment in time, a change in my life won’t drive me crazy with anxiety. Change can be good and exciting, even at first if it freaks you out, it can be great! I’ve pierced my ears, got a tattoo, got a new haircut and started growing a beard, and I feel GREAT.
If there’s anything I want you to take from this (relatively) brief post, it’s that if you struggle with a mental health issue it’ll be with you your whole life, but a big part of getting it under control is realising that fact, and not beating yourself up for it. Also, men do struggle with mental health, men can get anxious, men can cry, and that’s completely normal. Anyone who says otherwise is a twat.
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