How to Deal With Idiots : An Idiots Guide

Happy New Year! As Fi so rightly put in the last post, going along with social conventions is not the way to go. To actually make a difference in the world, stand up and be heard. And the best way to do this is confront the idiots and take no shit. 

When I dropped out of my midwifery degree, quite rightly I found after a month that sitting on my bum wasn’t doing me much good- although I definitely needed time to have no responsibility. I hunted through the indeed pages and stumbled across a waitressing job in the next village over. The fragile me fell into the job straight away and just got on with things. A few weeks in, one of the chefs began to ask me out, to which I declined for obvious reasons (aka I’m in a loving relationship), to which he kept persisting. And I kept declining. His moods became foul and he was a toxic person to be around, and even worse when he was leading kitchen that day- to which I dreaded. He spoke another language frequently, and I could tell he was insulting me in this language clearly without me knowing as I didn’t speak it. Laughing at me and shouting things which I definitely didn’t understand. But I kept my head down. 

Then I learnt what one of the words meant. Too rude to type on here, but commonly known as ‘see you next Tuesday’. 

One day I went around the back of the kitchen after someone had complained about the food, and he called me this in his language, to my face. At which point I was strong enough to turn to him, look him dead in the eyes, and say

‘is there something categorically wrong with you that makes you be so rude? If you keep talking to me like that you won’t have anyone to take your food’. 

To which he repeated calling me it, refused to cool down. I was in a state, couldn’t believe I had the strength at that point in time to actually stand up for myself when I thought I wasn’t worthy of being stood up for. In the following days, I had meetings with managers who in a roundabout sort of way said it isn’t acceptable but you’re a waitress and he is a chef. They were empathetic to an extent, but my resignation went on the desk the following shift. 

I learnt so much from this situation, and I finally engaged in self-reflection and realisation I was a human and did not deserve to be spoken to like crap. So, my way on how to deal with idiots, tell them in a calm way what they are doing to upset you, and if they refuse to back down, change where you are because there is no point in being miserable- because you are worthy of better. And at the end of the day, them having that behaviour isn’t going to bring them much good in the future. At the end of the day, everyone CHOOSES the way in which they behave, and therefore so do you. If there is an idiot in your life, however hard it is, just tell them how it is, and if you’re the idiot, then expect some conversations to follow.