new year, same you

We’ve just left the teens decade, quite frankly a decade id rather forget completely. But I wont, and I shouldn’t. what’s happened the last 10 years has shaped me to be who I am today; most importantly taking into the next decade… new decade, same me. My goals for 2020 are to continue finding Fiona, the real Fiona. To continue kicking ass at recovery, to learn my own boundaries (aka stop people pleasing and letting my perfectionism and fear of people hating me getting in the way of E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G), and to say yes to more things. Which for someone who struggles with a crippling anxiety when it comes to routine, is tough.

This morning I spoke to my therapist about my hopes for 2020 and reflecting on quite how much has changed in the last year. I’ve managed things I thought impossible and tried new things I didn’t even know existed. In the last 12 months alone, I’ve changed more than I could describe. Though its fleeting, I’m starting to actually like the person I am now. So where am I going with this?

New year, same me. I’m not going along with the social expectation to radically change myself, because quite frankly, they’re fad’s they statistically last just 3 weeks. 
Instead, I’m looking at what I can start. I want to start accepting myself. I want to start being okay with myself when I make mistakes. I want to start relaxing with the idea that maybe, just maybe, I’m not the horrible person my head tells me I am. I want to do more things, experience more things. I want to continue living my life to the absolutely fullest… and I don’t mean packing my diary to the brim (trust me, been there, done that and learnt a good lesson to pace things!). it means being present in what I do decide to do. Living each day, being with the people I love and that make me happy and doing the things that I want to do.

So I propose this task to you; what can you start this year that makes you excited and peaceful? (I can guarantee its not a one month wonder of a gym membership!). go outside more, take more pictures with your friends, spend time with your grandparents, write letters, read books, drink tea and get more sleep! Look for something to start that is something you value, not a product of societies pressures. (ps. No one wants to see your IG story of a picture of you on a running machine, just an fyi xox)

Lets make 2020 a year to be remembered, for all the things we do.

Fi x