A letter to my past self

During times like these, it’s totally okay to feel lost, uneasy and unsure of what the future will hold for you. But…you can take control. A very wise person once told me, you will not be in this situation now unless it was going to shape you to be better in the future. And how true she was. The best method of doing this is looking back on where you have been, and how you have felt in different situations. Throughout my life, as I’m sure yours too, there have been peaks and troughs everywhere, you have been low, and got lower even when you didn’t see that possible. But equally you have been happy, then elated, and then could not stop grinning. With this in mind, I have written a letter to my past self. And by no means is this a seek of attention, yet a way of 1) informing you how things do change over time and 2) reminding you that you, and only you hold the power to develop and change. So here it goes!

Dear Harri, 

As time goes on you will learn that some people are just nasty. Especially in school. Children and teenagers just don’t yet understand how their actions can have such lasting effects, so remember that when you are speaking to people, and understand your angry is with the world, not that individual person. Even though it hurts now, these experiences will shape you into the person you are yet to become. Your worth is so high even though you don’t understand yet, being called names and being degraded is not what the whole planet is like, even though it feels like it. You will be amazing, something you must continue to remind yourself of everyday, and everyday for the rest of your life. You can be independent and fierce, so ignite the fire and don’t be afraid to go to prom on your own. You my girl, make me so proud. 

There is always going to be dips and peaks to come, and you will be weakened, but this does not define you as weak. It is not a label, just a descriptor. But you will get help and come out of the other side. Remember to listen to your gut. Hold our family tight. And if youre not suffocating in love, it isn’t tight enough. The can all be massively infuriating, but they love you, they love us unconditionally. 

One last word of advice… wear your Dr. Martens. Put pink in your hair. And when they laugh you can laugh back at their severe lack of fashion sense. If only you can see how big your Dr. Marten collection will get!

Love, you. 

Try it. Write yourself that letter. I can promise you it will clear your mind, even just a tiny bit. Look after yourselves, stay safe and continue to be you. 

Harri x