DISCUSSION: why do we continue to base success on ideologies from 100 years ago?
I have been burdened by feelings of guilt recently due to finishing year one of university and feeling misguided as to what I want to achieve in the short-term. I believe, the enforced traditional and outdated societal expectations, have played their part in strengthening my anxiety and guilt.
The idea of needing to strive further, always aim higher and keep busy is archaic, as the pace of life is so much faster than it used to be 100 years ago. Life no longer stops at the end of your work day; complex family responsibilities, larger communication networks but ironically increased isolation, can exhaust people well before 9pm. It is important to take the time out for yourself and sit with your thoughts for a while.
As a young woman, I have previously been somewhat hounded to find the love of my life and marry them immediately. And I know I have been lucky to experience love with a significant other, and will continue to for x amount of years, but my point is:
why was this concept forced upon me as a teenager? Why was the need for a life partner above the needs of my own self-development? I am aware that asking someone whether they have a partner or not isn’t a crime, but the unconscious reasoning behind asking the question is what we have to think about. Why would having a partner define success?
And even now, when I explain my anxiety people begin to treat me differently, with an air of caution and treading eggshells around me. 100 years ago, the mere concept of mental health issues was frowned upon, the idea that people were not entirely in control of their emotions was horrifying. And I think that’s what scares people now. The not knowing how I will react or take things in. But as someone who suffers from anxiety, please be direct with me. And by direct I don’t mean rude, I mean be honest and truthful with compassion and kindness.
So the next time you ask someone how they’re doing or what they are up to, don’t assume that they will match your timeline. Broaden your mind from basic in-built opinions and definitions of success, because darling you can build your own pathway.
If you’re after more information on this discussion, please watch the following video. I have showed this to most people I know and the depiction of following personal timelines is bang on. Do things as YOU are ready to. Not when its convenient or forced.
Harri. X
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