DISCUSSION- things people really shouldn't say but do anyway for some unknown reason

Firstly I’d like to start off by apologising the lack of blog routine lately. With the pandemic still itching to ruin any chance of having a routine, things have been a bit hilly anxiety-wise. However, during all the jobs I have had, from retail to waitressing and working with those who have additional needs, I have continued to compile a list in the notes section of my phone about the things people have said to me which they should have really kept in their head. 

 

I’m the first person to admit that I am a terrible liar. But when it comes to saying things that could hurt someones feelings; that is just a skill which some people just don’t have. Not even necessarily a skill, over the last few years I have had to build a thicker skin and learn not to take things so literally because these types of things are said so often. And in all seriousness, I have made none of these up OR exaggerated. Unfortunately there are some people who I have met who haven’t had a filter or any common decency. Beware of several expletives. So heres a few to enlighten you…

 

“I take it you’re going to vote to remain in the EU because you are young and fickle.”

 

Knock knock. Whos there? Nunya. Nunya who. None of your business. Honestly at the time I was 15 and not even old enough to vote. I was left gobsmacked and luckily my manager was next to me and told them to stop butting their nose in where it wasn’t wanted. 

 

“Are your fingers always that puffy?”

 

Yes. Yes they are. And I’m not sorry if that offends you. 

 

“Your dress sense is…strange”

 

Only because I don’t have an iPhone in my hand and black skinny jeans on. 

 

“Would you like to have sex with me in the shed? My wife will never know.”

 

This was a chef who had a wife and children. Not to mention, I was 18 and had a boyfriend and he was at least twice my age. After I point-blank refused, I was no longer treated with any type of respect. 

 

“Cúlva”

 

This means cunt in polish. The chef was polish. I brought back some food to the kitchen that was severely undercooked and this is what I was called. Safe to say he lost his shit after I told him that its inappropriate to call me that because of something he did wrong. That’s the only time I’ve had to call my dad into work. 

 

“But he is one of my head chefs and you are a waitress. Unfortunately there isn’t much we can do”

This was the meeting I had for the cunt incident. My resignation was on the desk the following day. 

 

“Are you a lesbian? Just you keep smiling at me and your hair is short.”

 

This one got me. And unfortunately I didn’t have a witty comment back for that one. I went into the staff toilets and cried, only to be followed up and asked if I was having a poo because I was in the toilet so long. I just didn’t realise we were in a world where this stuff is still used to offend and make biases. This actually happened. 

 

“You have a fat fanny. By that I mean you have fat on your lower tummy, I can see it through your trousers”

 

This was at the height of my body image issues. I withdrew myself and refused to wear tight clothing for years to come. 

 

“You can do all the cleaning and I will stand and watch”

 

Abuse of power and position much? My resignation was handed in the next day. 

 

“You don’t seem to know much do you?”

 

Well I started yesterday. Hence why I have called for someone who does know more. 

 

The following are in relation to wearing masks in the pandemic:

 

“You both look like muslims wearing masks”

 

Well uh. That’s not really an insult is it? 

 

“We all look like terrorists!”

 

“I don’t believe in any of it, it is clearly the government trying to mind control us”

 

“Shut the fuck up. Call your shitty police then”

 

I called the police. She’s now banned. 

 

*asks for ID* “I’ve got a beard love and I am definitely older than you”

 

I know 16-year-olds with beards. That’s not a form of ID for tobacco. 

 

I can’t emphasise enough, 

 

WHAT YOU SAY MATTERS. WHETHER IT IS INTENDED TO BE MALICIOUS OR NOT. 

 

Next time you see someone working hard and sweating their nuts off so you can benefit, maybe thank them for the work they do instead of holding your breath as you go past. 

 

Instead of rolling your eyes when asked for ID, take the compliment. You look under 25!

 

We all need to do our bit to spread kindness. And for me to be 21 and hear all of these things is totally unacceptable and something that I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through. 

 

So after reading this, just bear in mind that no one deserves to be treated with such little respect. Every human, whether they are a cleaner or a doctor is worthy of respect. 

 

Have you had any of these experiences?

 

Harri x