An account as to why the Sarah Everard Case has resonated with me, and so many.

 When I was 8, I was finally allowed to do the five minute walk down to the village on my own. My parents had given me the coolest LG slide up phone and sent me on my way with a tenner to buy some bread and some other groceries. Where I live isn’t classed as dodgy, but as I walked down the village, I remember a red car pulled up next to me and started driving at my walking pace. The man rolled down his window and told me I looked sexy and he wanted my phone number. Just to remind you, I was 8. I dropped the loaf of bread on the floor and ran all the way home, inconsolable as I didn’t understand what was happening. As I told my parents my Mum was understanding and my Dad entered protective mode, but the one thing neither of them were was shocked.

 

At 11 years old in my secondary school uniform, I walked past a building site where I was wolf whistled and shouted at from across the street asking me to come over. As I spoke to my friends about it at school, it had turned out that they too, had experienced something similar. 

 

At 13 in school, I had just began my period and one of my male peers went through my bag and found pads, and proceeded to spill them out of my bag and display them to the rest of the class. Lording them over me as if I should be ashamed to be bleeding. 

 

At 15 when I began my part-time job, I would walk home and purposely avoid one corner of the village because I knew that was where older boys would hang out. If I ever did have to walk that way from home, I would pretend I was on the phone to my mum. I would play with my keys in my hand just incase. 

 

At 16, I would wait at the college bus stop for the ride home and have the horn beeped at me from white vans and low-set cars from men who were most likely old enough to be my Dad. 

 

At 18, not long after meeting my boyfriend, I went clubbing only to find men would brush up against me and ‘accidentally’ grab my bum. 

Last year, I was out having drinks with my friends when two men were staring at us from across the room. The came over, flashed a wallet full of twenty-pound notes and asked if we would like to leave with them. 

 

Even now, I find that if I travel somewhere on my own, I tend to learn the surroundings I am in so that I know the quickest escape. When people I don’t know try to talk to me I become quite overwhelmed, and when I’m walking down the street I usually get my boyfriend to come and meet me because I’m terrified of similar incidents happening. And don’t be fooled, these are only a few of the sexual harassments I have experienced.

 

So when men are generalised into one category, I am personally sorry. Because I know that not ALL men are the same. Yet after hearing these experiences I hope you recognise that a lot of these encounters have shaped my stereotype of men I don’t know- one of which I am not proud of but find myself in a rut to get out of.  But when I’m walking down a dimly lit street, perhaps with a skirt on, all men are grouped together in my mind because I don’t know these people- and as sad as it is, I tend to think about the worst things that could happen instead of seeing the best, especially in that situation. 

 

As I am reflecting here, I find myself getting emotional as I hadn’t realised the extent to which incidents like the above have shaped my conceptions of men. I also hadn’t realised that as I divulge these experiences, they resonate with many more people than I could ever imagine. I never took the time out to think of the feminist jokes, the body-image ‘banter’ throughout both educational and working environments, and how they have shaped my personal thinking. And I’d like to think of myself as a strong-ass young woman, but the Sarah Everard case has definitely shook me. So I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to some resources should this post, or the news of Sarah have affected you:

 

Men’s Health Forum- because I’m sure men have been affected by this too:

24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.

Website: www.menshealthforum.org.uk

Support for those who have been victim:

Phone: 0808 168 9111 (24-hour helpline)

Website: www.victimsupport.org

Relate, a charity to support relationship worries:

The UK's largest provider of relationship support.

Website: www.relate.org.uk

Some Instagram accounts which have some interesting content on these issues:

@tofeelhealed

@alexlight_ldn

@jordanyeatesmh

@ourstreetsnow

@nannacoppertone